An Ode To Shoes

While pulling out the Christmas tubs yesterday, I came across one from high school. Of course. I had to go through it! I found tons of essays, journals, and short stories I wrote for English classes (oh, teenage angst). One really caught my eye-an essay about shoes. In reading it I realized some things never change. I thought I’d share it with you.

AP English
May 4, 1987


Yes, it’s true, I am a shopaholic. My favorite smell is Giorgio perfume mixed with the smell of new clothes that lingers in Dayton’s on a hot summer day. I cannot go into a mall without purchasing something, anything, as long as I spend money. I’ve gone over my limit on my Dayton’s card, yet I still buy, buy, buy. The one thing I spend way too much money on is shoes. I have devised a method to get me past the compulsion to spend my money on these oh-so-necessary items.

The first step to take is to avoid the shoe department at Dayton’s. I could do this very easily by staying off the second floor. But unfortunately, the make-up, purses, and Guess? departments are also located on the second level of temptation. So, the only way to avoid shoes is to develop tunnel vision and look straight ahead when I go by them, instead of glancing to my right.

The next step to take is to walk by the specialty shoe shops (try to say that ten times) located throughout the malls. To do this, I need to convince myself the shoes they sell are cheap and junky. If this doesn’t work and I find myself venturing in, I need to look at the saleswoman/man. I should try to convince myself that she’s icky and he’s a pervert and that my only safety is to get out of the store.

If these two steps fail, I need to move on to step three. This step is drastic and could put a big strain on the relationships I have developed over the years. I should give my money and credit cards to my shopping companion while in the vicinity of shoes. This could result in a major argument in the middle of a shoe department, but it may be the only way. Hopefully my companion will be someone who is understanding and can take abuse, both verbal and physical.

I fear that if these three steps fail there is no hope. I could abstain from shopping all together, but that would be a little too drastic. The withdrawal from the non-purchasing of shoes would be strain enough. I get nauseous at the thought of giving up shopping all together. No sir. I think I would rather buy shoes than give up the joy of spending money on clothes. Maybe I need to go to Shopaholic’s Anonymous!

I got an A on the paper and my teacher wrote that it was thoroughly enjoyable. Little did we both know, nothing would ever change for me when it comes to shopping, especially shopping for shoes.

My patent leather Mary Jane’s

5 thoughts on “An Ode To Shoes

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